Grief is Sneaky…So is Healing

My sweet friend Margie encouraged me to join an amazing photography challenge sponsored by My Four Hens Photography. The challenge is to take one photo each week for an entire year. Each week has a theme, and last week’s theme was “Part of Me.” I toyed around with a few ideas before I landed on this picture:

 

I love this picture for a lot of reasons.

It has Matt in it. He is my whole heart, and he is more amazing to me every day.

It has Miss M. in it. She is my whole heart, and she is more amazing to me every day.

It has Madeleine it. She is my whole heart, and she is missed every day.

 

You see, we chose to have Madeleine’s ashes buried at sea. It gave us both comfort to think that no matter where the Lord may lead us, we will always be able to find our way to water. For those days when grief rises up and we need to sit awhile, to remember her, we will always be able to find water. Taking photos of my family at the ocean gives me a feeling of a complete picture. They are all there.

Here’s the crazy thing. This has been one of those weeks. One of the times when the grief sneaks in and clenches my throat and springs tears at the most inopportune times. AND THEN, God. My sweet Lord who sees my heart and hears my cries, gave me this: In Solemn Ceremony, Duo Carries Out Sacred Burials at Sea for Those Too Easily Forgotten. My dear and precious friend, Lara, wrote this article about the people who scatter the ashes. The people who held our little girl for the last time. One of the things that has tugged at my heart is the wonder. I have wondered if the ones who had this honor, if they knew how sacred it was, if they handled her tenderly. Now I know. Now I have this gift, this answer, this healing piece.

The tears are flowing pretty freely now, but in such a good way. Healing tears. Not the last, I’m sure, but, oh the burden they are lifting.