Meine Klein Welt

Life Review

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This struck me today:

“The next time you pause to review your life and examine your conscience, you might find it beneficial for spritiual growth to move beyond the Ten Commandments and address the following questions:

  • Have I failed to take the initiative in alleviating fear, anxiety, and heartache in my home, my neighborhood, and the local community?
  • Have I had contempt for others: the less educated perhaps, or people of different ethnic, racial, economic, or religious groups?
  • Have I dismissed senior citizens as anachronisms and not tried to make them feel their worth and dignity?
  • Have I in any way stifled the personal development of another?
  • Have I sought to be respected without respecting others?
  • Have I often kept others waiting?
  • Have I carelessly forgotten (or simply not kept) an appointment or a date?
  • Have I been difficult for others to reach, feeling too busy to put myself at their disposal?
  • Have I not paid attention when someone is speaking to me?
  • Have I kept silent when I should have spoken out?
  • Have I responded only to those whose friendship might prove profitable to me?
  • Have I blackened the character of anyone by harmful remarks, whether false or true?
  • Have I betrayed a trust, violated a confidence, or involved myself in the lives of others through indiscreet words and actions?
  • Have I concentrated on what’s in it for me rather than what’s in me for it?
  • Have I failed to appreciate what is because of might-have-beens, should-have-beens, and could-have-beens?”

Brennan Manning
The Wisdom of Tenderness p.119-120

“Grace always precedes call.”

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I’m reading the book The Wisdom of Tenderness by Brennan Manning. I’m always thankful when I read or hear Brennan Manning. I’m thankful that God gave him a way of thinking and understanding that speaks so clearly to me.

What struck me today was a story he was telling about an evangelist named Robert Frost. I have no idea if it’s the poet Robert Frost, or someone else entirely. But, the story was about how he didn’t go to seminary for a long time because he was afraid God would send him to Africa. Only years later after attending seminary and building a ministry did he discover a love for Africa that caused him to ask God to allow him to go. This illustrated the point Manning wanted to make, which was, “Grace always precedes call.” God will not call us to serve without first placing a love in our heart for those we are serving.

So, this brings me to my point. I came to Vienna because I have a love for missionaries and a love for international kids. I have the opportunity here for an amazing ministry to both of these communities. Yet, lately, I don’t want to go to work. It takes all my energy to get out of bed in the morning and go serve the people whom it is my passion to serve. There are quite a few contributing factors in this, but I think what I’ve realized is that God placed a passion in my heart, then sent me to serve, and Satan hates that. He is doing everything in his power to thwart God’s plan, and I seem to be letting him. The question now is how do I get back to the passion, back to where I wake up ready to do what God has placed it in my heart to do?

Will I be destroyed like Edom?

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Tonight we studied the second half of Obadiah. It talks about how Edom is going to be destroyed both because of their pride and the fact that they stood by while Israel suffered. The verse that stuck out to me was verse 12:

“You should not look down on your brother
in the day of his misfortune,
nor rejoice over the people of Judah
in the day of their destruction,
nor boast so much
in the day of their trouble.”

I have been struggling so hard with the desire to see God teach lessons to others that I believe have something to learn. Of course, there are a plethora of verses to warn me against this, but this is the one that is making an impact at the moment. Why do I desire to see others learn hard lessons? Why do I take delight in the thought of another person being brought to their knees? Why does it make me so angry at God when I think someone needs to change and I don’t see it happening?

I feel that the only thing I can do now is pray that whatever lesson the Lord has for me in this is a lesson I learn quickly and learn well. I pray that what I learn is grace for others and trust in God to deal with each of us in the way that He knows is best because only He knows the best way.